SPECIAL ISSUE - It's Eurovision time!

It's the greatest show on earth, and boy we're so ready for it.

Hiya,

Welcome back! It’s that time of year again: Eurovision kicks off today with the first semi-final.

We’ve gotta be honest with you - while it’s definitely grown on us over the years, we didn’t fully grasp just how big of a deal Eurovision was until we lived in the Balkans. But now? We're all in. And we’re so happy to finally write this special issue about one of the biggest music contests on earth (yep, you heard that right).

In this edition of Balkan Brew, we’re diving into the region’s entries, talking about who won’t be showing up in Basel, and - most importantly - making some totally reliable predictions.

EDIT: we previously indicated that Cyprus wasn’t competing this year. It actually is. The text has been edited to correct that mistake.

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Wish you were here

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU. Let’s start with the obvious. Only a handful of Balkan countries are in this year: Albania, Croatia, Greece, Montenegro, Serbia, and Slovenia. Honestly, we can’t remember a Eurovision with so few from the region. Too few, if you ask us.

WITHOUT ME. Each no-show has its reasons. Kosovo can’t compete - it’s not part of the European Broadcasting Union.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? Turkey dipped years ago, tried to start its own Turkvision (yep), and… well, it flopped. Much to our dismay.

MONEY FOR NOTHING. Romania, Moldova and North Macedonia bowed out citing economic reasons (and, uh, singer quality). Bulgaria? Also kinda broke.

SOUND OF SILENCE. We’re especially bummed not to see Bosnia and Herzegovina. Their last appearance was in 2016.

PAID MY DUES. BHRT, the country’s public broadcaster, is deep in debt and still hasn’t paid what it owes the EBU.

Maybe it's for the best, according to Bosnian politician Nenad Nešić, who thanked God last year that Bosnian kids wouldn't have to see “such a Sodom and Gomorrah” on TV. Nešić is currently serving a prison sentence for corruption, money laundering, and abuse of office.

NOW AND THEN. We listened to all the Balkan entries. Gone are the days of fizzy bangers like Euro Neuro or Trenulețul. The region’s back in Sad Ballad Mode™. We like to call it the Adele Effect - big voices, heavy vibes.

QUANDO, QUANDO, QUANDO. Slovenia, Albania, and Croatia perform in tonight’s semi-final; Greece, Montenegro, and Serbia are up on Thursday. Hopefully (but realistically, probably not) we’ll see all of them in Saturday’s final.

Tonight is the night

START ME UP. Klemen, representing Slovenia, will be the third performer on stage.

EVERYBODY HURTS. His song reflects on his wife’s cancer diagnosis and recovery. When she first heard it, she told him: “you should really go to Eurovision with this one.”

FIGHT THE POWER. The comedian/actor/musician became an international name with his 2014 hit Putin, putout (58 million views on YouTube!!). He’s also taken shots at Slavoj Žižek, Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, and the late Pope Francis.

The day after securing his spot at Eurovision, Klemen published a medley covering all the contest winners from 2000 to today. However, he quickly removed the 2001 segment following controversy over the use of blackface.

DEFYING GRAVITY. Bookmakers don’t seem to rate him very highly. But he’s got a surprise card: the EBU has spoiled that his wife will join him on stage during the performance.

IT’S ELECTRIC. Shkodra Elektronike, representing Albania, is - if you ask us - the most exciting entry this year. Starting from their own definition of their genre as post-immigrant pop.

Is there anything to add??? Yes actually: the dress Beatriçe’s wearing was made by her mom.

MAMBO ITALIANO. The duo hails from Shkoder but grew up in Italy. Kolë Laca was a charismatic member of the post-punk band Teatro degli Orrori when he met Beatriçe Gjiergji.

SPACE ODDITY. Croatia representative Marko Bošnjak easily takes home the prize for weirdest song. His performance - marked by abrupt changes in sound, facial expressions, and set design - might just make you question reality.

THIS IS ME. Bošnjak, as far as we can tell, is the third openly LGBTQ+ artist to represent a Balkan country at Eurovision (and yes, there is a full list of queer Eurovision participants on Wikipedia). He’s received a lot of backlash for his openness.

Another one

PERSONAL JESUS. Serbia’s Princ - better known as the vocal miracle from Vranja - might not be the most modest guy. But he did play Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar, so.

Seriously, who could choose Barabbas?

FREE BIRD. Princ also just broke up with his girlfriend before heading to Basel. “Not sure how I’ll find a new one in these circumstances,” he said. Fair.

BACK IN BLACK. Montenegro returns after a three-year break. Nina Žižić is back too - she was last seen in Eurovision 2013 with the duo Who See. We re-watched it and we can’t quite understand where did all the good vibes go.

Maybe it’s just the Old Continent getting older

SAD SONG. Greece’s Klavdia enters with a slow, emotional track that some say nods to the WWI-era massacre of ethnic Greeks by Ottoman Turks.

OUR PREDICTIONS 🥁

TOMMI SAYS. Italy takes first, second, third, fourth, and fifth place (yes, it could - if we stretch the definition of Italianity just a little). The five countries unite in a supranational state-like entity, guided by our spiritual leader, fearless visionary, and moral compass: Tommy Cash. He proceeds to win every Eurovision until the day he leaves this planet.

RODO SAYS. People are swept away by Princ’s, errr, passion. Serbia wins in a landslide. During the ceremony, he turns water into champagne. It becomes clear He truly is the second coming of Christ - just with better biceps. Everyone who believed and voted for Him ascends to heaven, where they eat karađorđeva and drink beer forever, without gaining a gram.

THE BOOKMAKERS SAY. Sweden. Obviously.

And that’s a wrap for this special issue! If you spot a mistake, have a suggestion, or just want to tell us who your favourite Balkan entry is for this Eurovision, drop us a line - just reply to this email.

Have a wonderful Eurovision, and until next time,

Always stay cool like a swimming pool.

BB